Handle every stressful situation like a DOG,
if you can’t eat it, then play with it,
if you can’t play with it, then pee on it,
and move on.
Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder, but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night. ;-) Enjoy the extended weekend!
Priest: Next Sunday, I’ll preach about the sin of lying, & to understand it, I want u to read Mark 17.
(d ff sunday)
Priest: How many of you had read Mark 17?
(almost all raised their hands except of a guy who looks like a gangster)
Priest: why haven’t you read what I told u?
Guy: I can’t find Mark 17.
Priest: (smiled) Mark has 16 chapters. Let’s go to my homily on lying!
NEW DRESS CODE IN A COMPANY:
You are advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If you wear Prada shoes and carry a Hermes bag, we assume you are doing well financially and don’t need a raise. If you dress poorly, learn to manage your money so that you can buy better clothes and thus, no pay upgrade needed. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and thus you don’t need a raise.
PNP & NBI are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. P-Noy gives them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest & each of them has to catch it.
NBI goes in. After 2 weeks w/o leads, they burn the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit & make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
PNP goes in. After 2 hours, they came out with a badly beaten man. The man was crying, “tama na, tama na! ako yung rabbit! ako ang rabbit!”
Sabi ng isang segurista: “I try to make sure that I get caught on at leasd 15 surveillance cameras every day..
because you never know when you might need an ALIBI!”
Dear JOLLIBEE & McDO,
Why are all the people in your commercials or advertisements thin?
Thought for the day:
There are two basic groups of people:
the wishful thinkers who throw coins in fountains &
the realists who fish them out..
An angry wife speaks to her husband on the phone: “Where the Hell are you?”
Husband replies: “Darling, do you remember that Jewelry Shop where you saw the Diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn’t have money that time and I said, Baby, one day It’ll be yours?”
Wife (smiling and blushing) says: “Yeah, I remember, Darling. Why?”
Husband: “Well, I’m in the Pub just next to that Shop!”
The beauty of the rain is that if it rains in the U. S., Europe, Africa, the water disappear in 5 minutes…
In the Philippines, the streets and roads disappear in 5 minutes!
Paper say to Money, “Ur just a piece of paper.”
Money smiled n said, “Of course, i’m just a piece of paper but i haven’t seen a dustbin in my life.”
A man is watching a video and yells, “Don’t walk into that church you stupid idiot!”
His wife then asks, “What are you watching?”
And he says, “Our wedding!”
New Company Rules for Toilet Use:
“Too much time is being spent in the toilet. We are imposing a 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door open & your picture taken. Pictures of chronic offenders will be posted in the bulletin board. Anyone caught smiling in the pictures will be sanctioned under the company’s health policy.” :p
Someday, you’ll find someone special again. People who’ve been in love usually do. It’s in their nature. Everybody deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow. Sometimes the right person for you was there all along. You just didn’t see it because the wrong person was blocking your sight. Don’t give up on love, because there is always someone who loves you. Even if it’s not the person you were hoping for. :]
Man dialled his own number from his girlfriend’s mobile phone to see what name she chose for him..
He was shocked to see “ATM NO. 5″
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Posted by Walexcomsys at 3:19 PM
Posted by Walexcomsys at 9:34 AM
Friday, May 25, 2012
Every tear is a sign of
Every silence is a sign of
Every smile is a sign of
World’s Shortest Fairy Tale:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?” The girl said “No.”
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motor bikes and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank. And left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
A GIRL dreams about a bad boy who is gentle only for her..
A lawyer was having some extra curricular fun with his secretary inside his car. When he got home, his wife noticed a pair of stockings in the back seat. She picked them up then in front of him, tore them apart while screaming, “So what the hell is this?” He calmly replied, “You just destroyed the evidence of a rape case I’m handling, which would probably be worth over a million… you can forget about the jewelry you wanted!” Moral of the story: No one wins over a lawyer… not even something called a WIFE
Mother: what do you want in the future?
Husbands’ Creed – supposed to be
When wife commands – Obey
When wife travels – Accompany
When wife is wrong – Disregard
When wife spends – Accept
When wife loses temper – Endure
When wife wants intimacy -Provide
When wife becomes unreasonable – Recall “supposed to be”
Posted by Walexcomsys at 2:46 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
one of my
kmi . . .
May kmatis pa!
Ramdam namin ang asenso,.:-)
“It’s better to say hurtful words, than to say sweet lies that will make a person happy, but stupid in the end. you need to pretend that your happy, for the sake of others, but the truth is your suffering all the pains that were hidden on you.”
Two secrets to keep your marriage peaceful:
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it!
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up!
X and Y were in a public bath.
X: what shaving cream do u use?
X: what deodorant do u use?
X: which toothpaste do u use?
X: what shirt do u use?
X: Tell, me, what is this Mark’s? Is it a boutique?
Y: No, he’s my roomate! :-)
A guy came home to his wife and said to her: “Guess what? I found a great job. A 10am start, 2pm finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays 30,000 a week to boot.” “That’s great,” his wife said.
“Yeah, sounds unreal,” he agreed. “You start Monday.” haha
Give me, 0 Lord,
A steadfast heart, which no unworthy affecti0n may drag downwards,
Give me an unconquered heart, which no tribulation can wear out;
Give me an upright heart.. which no unworthy purpose may tempt aside.
St. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
Good day God bless and hv a blessed weekend:-)
GOD holds us tightly in His hands, despite the loose grip of our feeble faith. GOD passionately loves you that HE will never leave nor forsake you. Good morning!:-)
“you will get tired as everyone else does. You can have all d choices and stop. But remember, taking a good rest is different from giving up..
Our doubts are traitors,
and make us loose the good
we often might win, by
fearing to attempt.
… whatever we desire, the seeds have already been planted. The love, goodness and peace we want are already there! All we need to do is ensure they have the proper growing conditions. Wishing you a beautiful garden! Good Morning!
kLase ng mga nka-unli:
QU0TE ADIK-minuminUt0ng ngf04wrd ng k0wts.
C0RNY J0KER-pnh0n p ni rizAl an mga j0wks.
SIMPLENG MANIAKIS-aatakhin l0la m0 s grEen msgs nia.
TIME WATCHER-kumple2 bAti mula am to pm.
DIARY FREAK-pti yta pghikab nia gnugr0up msg pa.
EXCLUSIVE 0NLY-my spcial n ktx kya ndi ngrE2ply sau khit unli.
IQ TESTER-kun mkpgtn0ng kla m0 alm un sg0t.
CHAIN MSG FANATIC-dakilang utu ut0.
“Give ur enemy a
to becum your
but d0nt give ur
friend a single
chance to becum
“When two people are really in love with each other. They won’t ever let go. even if, It hurts a thousand times or more.”
“The measure of a matured person is not how well dey prepare for everything to go right but on how they stand up and move on after everything goes wrong.”
Posted by Walexcomsys at 10:47 AM